Too many questions

"That slavery that feeds on the psychology invading the soul of man, destroying his loyalties to himself and establishing loyalties to the forces which descry him, is an even worse form of capture" (Akbar N. "Chains and images of psychological Slavery" P.2)

I don't know if 2006 is worse than 1806? What do you think? Modern day enslavement at the hands of whom? Who is the enemy, the person that put us in chains? George Bush? Gansta Rap? Who is the ally, white liberals? Rev. Al Sharpton? I don't know the answers I can speculate but I am no expert, only a black women trying to make it through and make sense of the fact that my community is in a perpetual state of poverty and that hasn't changed since the Nina, Pinta and the Santa Maria. Were we ever emancipated? And if we were from what and to what? In this land of opportunity why are so many people of color without? Too many questions, yes I know. Not enough answers, yes I know. I'll give you one answer: those who we thought were our allies betrayed us fed us to the wolves for power glory and prestige. The enemy has never changed, only hidden himself in shrouds of legal battles and due process.

The life of a student at UCB

The question was asked: what do you have to do to get out of here [UCB]
The answer was simple
though it took me a long time to articulate it...
"Realize that there is no safe space for me"
My home is not safe wither its is the back gate that doesn't lock or the inability for me to articulate or express my blackness (whatever that means)
My classroom is not safe there are too many secrets that no one will recognize as life or death
My campus is not safe whether it is my 98 black classmates in a class of over 8,000
My community isn't safe because I am bi-racial and "radical" (again whatever that means)
they don't want to engage in real conversations mostly because we are forced together because of the other 30,000 students who think we shouldn't be here.
So I became a "realist" (sorry again whatever that means) and I realized that I am never safe
I have to negotiate but try not to give away too much of myself.

Then I come home alone or come home to my love and try to just be...

Today I started a blog (yes I am captain obvious). This is a challenge for me because I am horrible at writing. I am one of the busiest people I have met and it is a challenge for me to just sit, reflect and write. I will attempt to write and process the events of the day as I travel through the events of the day as I navigate and engage the world in a new way. I love to talk about issues of race sexuality gender religion and how these and many other things interact within each other and within the context of a multicultural American Urban city. I might comment on the politics of the day so if you want to hear juicy gossip you might not want to read my blog because you might fall asleep (sorry). So here I go...