Size and body image

So, apparently this is a hot topic again. I've had my own issues with my body image and size. As a teenager I was an athlete and I could literally put anything and everything into my body with no consequences. Then I had a baby, which changed my body forever. Initially I played sports and although my frame had changed, I was pretty slim. However, when I stopped playing sports (as what happens to many women of my age (PPS there really should be more all women's sports teams across Los Angeles)), I put on weight and I have had more than one shopping trip that ended in tears. Its not that I think curves aren't beautiful, its just that we have really been programmed to believe that only a certain type of curves are beautiful. I had a baby and I still don't have hips and my guess is, it just won't ever happen for me. Thankfully there are plenty of fat activist and just beautiful women talking about fashion and body image. Like: http://www.youngfatandfabulous.com/, who is the cousin of one of my favorite friends.

Mostly, all women, and men for that matter need to begin to work on healing themselves and loving the way they look now. Even if your not healthy or not the weight you desire, setting out on a diet without loving yourself will never give you the satisfaction you desire. To love yourself is a lifetime journey that begins today, not 10lbs from now. Its something I struggle with daily (shit hourly, because after I ate my Carl's Jr. lunch, my clothes looked different). Being "healthy" according to standards that have nothing to do with you will never change your spiritual and mental health.

In Love,

Paz y Resistance

Allow me to reintroduce myself...

So I love writing and reading and generally digesting the written and spoken word. I think a lot and I read often but, somehow that never translated into a successful blogging career. I practically write essays on other people blogs, but yet mine sits alone untouched. Why? Well I have a few theories.

Firstly, people of color and women often second guess themselves. Yes all people second guess themselves, but oppressed people have encountered a world in which we are always undermined. Our knowledge and our history is deemed unessential and our voice is too often lost. Second, I have experienced depression for most of my life. If you have every experienced any type of depression you know how difficult it is to create, even though creativity is some of the best medicine. Creativity, music, writing is like a life raft for your soul and when you find your self drowning in a sea of doubt and depression, like you are lost and gasping for air, it is one thing I most often forget.

But recently, I have missed writing. I have missed the thrill of sitting down with a blank page and literally providing voice where there was once nothing. I know that today the Internet is over saturated with people voices and thoughts, but I cannot let others deter me from creating. So if no one ever reads this blog, it will be my own person journal, and I will continue to introduce and redefine myself in this space!

Paz y resistance